I'm accustomed to learning things the hard way, and to not being happy. Generally, I reside at some traveling point along the axes of loneliness and panic.
Changes are afoot.
Life is moving forward, dear reader. Decisions being made, chapters being opened, breaks being taken. Choosing happiness is not an easy thing, I think. Not when life has conditioned you against it, at least. I've never been one to do things the easy way, never been much good at accepting help or seeking comfort. I also have a penchant for learning things the hard way, which makes the rapid-fire change-athlon risky business
May 22, 2007
March 04, 2007
Old Man Taylor, You're Not So Old.
"You know the feeling you get when you fix your eyes on one point on the side of the road as you're driving by really fast? Sometimes I think that's life, all of it, just like that. Things stretch out in front of us, stretch out behind us, but the right now, it just goes by so fast. Too fast to really catch."
The above comes from a conversation I had earlier today with my good friend Graeme. The feeling I refer to is one I first became conscience of when working on... uh... the Thames River Project (?) with six other artists from my high school, some of whom were extremely dear friends.
The sentiment refers to the odd position in which many of us find ourselves at the moment. That terrifying, awe inspiring feeling when you're on the precipice of a whole new life, peering back at all the things you've come to know and love, trying to crystallize all the perfect parts so you can take them with you where ever you go. Graduation? Something like that. I'm waxing far too poetic. Ah, well. You love me, whatever.
Go see the painting. It's hanging in the guidance office at my high school. See if you can find our names, carved into the frame. And say hello to the Atrium, while you're there.
The above comes from a conversation I had earlier today with my good friend Graeme. The feeling I refer to is one I first became conscience of when working on... uh... the Thames River Project (?) with six other artists from my high school, some of whom were extremely dear friends.
The sentiment refers to the odd position in which many of us find ourselves at the moment. That terrifying, awe inspiring feeling when you're on the precipice of a whole new life, peering back at all the things you've come to know and love, trying to crystallize all the perfect parts so you can take them with you where ever you go. Graduation? Something like that. I'm waxing far too poetic. Ah, well. You love me, whatever.
Go see the painting. It's hanging in the guidance office at my high school. See if you can find our names, carved into the frame. And say hello to the Atrium, while you're there.
February 24, 2007
Roundup!
Some days, I feel like the luckiest person in the world. Like, in a past life, I must have donated all of my organs for transplant after suffering fatal injuries while saving a busload of children from near death, my karma is so good. Ha. Tempting the fates, I can see.
I am lucky. Obscenely so. I have happiness, lots of it, and health, and, most importantly, love. So. Much. Love. I love more people than I can count on one hand, and I think that is remarkable. I have a life replete with love. Wow. Who can say that?! Who gets to live this life, to be this happy, to see and do these things? Who gets to be this person?! I do. It's a bloody gift.
it's weird though... i was thinking about all the stff that's going on in the next several weeks
it's kind of like going out with a bang... and now i am starting to get the oh-no-it's-almost-over feeling
what's almost over?
ottawa!
for me i mean
i will be leaving soon, and it's starting to get a bit.. nostalgic?
i here that
i mean, it's not like i'll be far, and i don't think it'll be hard for me to keep in touch with most, but still, i will miss hanging out in the market, and on elgin, and bytowne nights, and the diner, and zack's
and so many, many things
wow
i have really had a great life here
but for me, and this is what i'm posting about on my blog right now actually, home is really about the people
i definitely started to see how true this was of me when i went to hamilton... i've never been there before, but going to visit ciara, it definitely felt like coming home
that's why it feels like home. all of my friends are there. even though my family isn't (which in the past has made it feel like anything but home)... a lot of the people that I care about live in ottawa
but five years later, all the important people are still in my life, so i feel confident that the people i've grown to love in ottawa will stay with me too
they will be in your life, yes.
yup... that's the thing about friendship, it's sort of a lifelong quest... some people stay with you for the long haul, some come and go, but in the end, it's all about the sum of the love you've had
I am lucky. Obscenely so. I have happiness, lots of it, and health, and, most importantly, love. So. Much. Love. I love more people than I can count on one hand, and I think that is remarkable. I have a life replete with love. Wow. Who can say that?! Who gets to live this life, to be this happy, to see and do these things? Who gets to be this person?! I do. It's a bloody gift.
it's weird though... i was thinking about all the stff that's going on in the next several weeks
it's kind of like going out with a bang... and now i am starting to get the oh-no-it's-almost-over feeling
what's almost over?
ottawa!
for me i mean
i will be leaving soon, and it's starting to get a bit.. nostalgic?
i here that
i mean, it's not like i'll be far, and i don't think it'll be hard for me to keep in touch with most, but still, i will miss hanging out in the market, and on elgin, and bytowne nights, and the diner, and zack's
and so many, many things
wow
i have really had a great life here
but for me, and this is what i'm posting about on my blog right now actually, home is really about the people
i definitely started to see how true this was of me when i went to hamilton... i've never been there before, but going to visit ciara, it definitely felt like coming home
that's why it feels like home. all of my friends are there. even though my family isn't (which in the past has made it feel like anything but home)... a lot of the people that I care about live in ottawa
but five years later, all the important people are still in my life, so i feel confident that the people i've grown to love in ottawa will stay with me too
they will be in your life, yes.
yup... that's the thing about friendship, it's sort of a lifelong quest... some people stay with you for the long haul, some come and go, but in the end, it's all about the sum of the love you've had
I have comfort, and passion, and desire and contentment. I have all these things, and more. Life is good. Life is brilliant. All I can see is blue sky.
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