Hurry up Sarah, There's a Doggy Coming! And Other Such Lies

When I was a very small child my brother used to walk me to and from school. Our relationship was not completely antagonistic, but was often so. Walking anywhere these days, I can always here the crunch and squish of snow and slush beneath my feet. I was reminded on a recent walk home from work of one of the obscure barbs that my brother once threw my way. I was told that the level of noise that I made in my clunky plastic winter boots was simply abhorrent. Further to this point, my brother informed me that no man would ever love me if I continued to walk so loudly. In truth, I cannot recall his exact words. He may in fact have told me that no boys would ever like me. Although these days I tend to disarm people with my ninja-like stealth, I have, in fact, never been loved. Single. Solitary. Tear.