God as a Monkey, Hell as a Black Hole

This is why I should not be allowed to take philosophy or art history. One day I'll come up with some crazy idea and the universe will cease to exist. I definitely would not have survived back in the days of the Spanish inquisition. Back when people were persecuted for ideas I would have gotten into trouble so fast they would have had to burn me at a sapling stake. Of course, the stake being so flimsy, I would have fled, and a Monty Pythonesque pursuit would have ensued, but let's not be realistic. This is no laughing matter!