Playing with Liars
Ronnie, in reference to the term pistol:
"Personally, I'd love to know how 'thing that is designed to kill people' came to mean 'amusing young person.'"
My brother thinks that one day I will meet a man ("or a woman, because, you know, that would be cool too") who will crack through my sarcastic outer shell and find the soft, sweet, delicate Sarah inside.
- Problem number A) I think my brother may believe that I use sarcasm as a defence mechanism
- Problem part the second) I rather like being sarcastic, and don't particularly want to be cracked
- Problem section III) I continue to let my brother go on thinking that I will one day find this man or woman and turn into a docile kitten eating melty semi-sweet chocolate chips from a china dish painted with buttercups
Sorry Asim, but it's not happening. As much as I'd like to submit myself to the delusion that someone with such knee-compromising powers exists, even if he or she did, I don't think mine are the knees he or she would be compromising. No. Not at all a likelihood. I am, and will likely remain for much of my life, a stalwart sarcastic. If, in fact, I did use sarcasm as a method of self-defence, then I would be open to the change, as sarcasm is a terrible thing to waste on excuses and self-pity. I've realized that I tend to whine and blame-shift more than anything when I feel the need to protect myself; in fact, I lose the advantageous edge that my sarcasm normally affords me in everyday verbal combat. No, my sarcasm is strictly because I like it where it is. It is my sense of humour, my wit, my wiley guise against the less, shall we say 'bright', people in my life. My sarcasm is not something to be cracked or broken or discarded; it is my evil mastermind innate, and the source of a great many of my little pleasures. So Asim, my apologies; I did not mean to dash your hopes of dashing my wits, but it turns out that I don't want to lose an ounce of my sarcasm. And if there does exist some prince or princess charming who could soothe my tempest's tongue, well frankly I don't want to meet him or her.
