Retrograde Motion

They say that once every two years or so Mars starts moving in the opposite direction of its normal orbit for about two months. Apparently this happens to, or will happen to, every planet at some point. They - not necessarily the same they, but a they nonetheless - say that the Qur'an or Sharia or something to that effect states that some day the Sun will rise in the west until god wills it to do otherwise. They, yet another they, told me yet again that I would have phone service this evening, and they were erroneous in this claim. In fact, I actually have less phone service than before. I now have to use a payphone to harass them. Do all of these wildly unreliable claims Sarah a skeptic make? I doubt it. It seems god was telling the truth. The world is going backwards. For instance, I thought I would move up in the world by getting a job that would actually compensate me for my efforts. Very Marxist commodified wage-labour, I know, but what's a girl to do? Turns out I was wrong. At said movin' on up job, I actually work more and get less in return than I did at my previous slave-labour employment. Perhaps it's just me. Note to self: check that knees are still facing forward and toes are still intact. Perhaps I have gone the way of the witches.