So neither of us have defected as of yet. In addition, I have tracked down Ho-dot boy. I'm not sure if He was introduced to me or Sarah though. And I'm afraid that he was too genuine... I dont know if he actually finds me interesting or if he's researching me. I don't think I could do that. I cannot just write people off no matter how disconnected I actually feel. I don't know if my sense of personal history is just too strong or if I have some sort of attachment disorder. Whatever it is, I'm too nervous around him now.... this will be a relationship to be kept at a distance. And of course, I don't want to be keeping relationships at a distance, because that's not how I think of people. He's got me in rather a predicament now. And he doesn't even know my name.